It is nearly 3 a.m. and I woke a while back with an excruciating pain in my left calf.
"Charlie horse," I told Lucy the dog, who was laying right on my pillow (I was without one). "It will go away itself."
It didn't. I flexed the leg -- no no no no -- then I pointed the toe, much to my dismay. I realized I needed to leap up from bed and walk on it. Leaping in the middle of the day is not a forte, but I cut an impressive scene dashing into the bathroom to throw cold water on my face and put weight on the leg.
"It's just a Charlie horse," I reassured Lucy, who was dancing on her hind legs every time I whimpered. "A drink of water, a moment, a little walking around and it will be fine."
I tripped over Big Bear (world's biggest Teddy) on the floor near the foot of my bed. Curses on you, Big Teddy, I said in a whisper. A moment later I was laying on the cool kitchen linoleum saying "Charlie horse, just a Charlie horse."
It did pass in an unknown amount of time and I went back to bed. I was trying to get back into the dream I'd been passing time in and just about as I did I realized I'd been trying to take out my contact lens, which had been out for hours.
I dreamed I was taking out the other one when my right leg cramped. Up out of bed, trip over Big Bear and find my computer. I'll google the damn thing and see if I can find out how to fix it.
Eat a banana, the advice says. Potassium deficiency can cause this.
I ate a banana at lunch. So much for that theory. I haven't been running miles at a stretch (I'm GOING to start walking when Daylight Savings Time starts. No, really.)
I'm going back to sleep. I have no inane sense I need to take out a contact lens, I ate my banana hours ago, the Internet has let me down except to tell me "It happens."
I guess I'll ride Charlie the rest of the night.
Lucy, why don't you go sleep by Big Bear?